He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
