I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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