What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
