i don't like sucking hair
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
