i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
