Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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