sarcasm needs its own font
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
