when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
