And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?