I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste