he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
