Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina

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  (740): i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina http://tfl.nu/02ir
  Replies (35) Good night (821) Bad night (4750)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.

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  (315): Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win. http://tfl.nu/wty0
  Replies (66) Good night (2149) Bad night (874)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Where you at

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.

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  (917): Where you at (1-917): assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup? (917): Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed. http://tfl.nu/v1xe
  Replies (7) Good night (874) Bad night (2764)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

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  (860): I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass http://tfl.nu/kwec
  Replies (24) Good night (1558) Bad night (5344)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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  (805): We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened. http://tfl.nu/qapw
  Replies (20) Good night (9506) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.

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  (401): You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you. http://tfl.nu/6q4j
  Replies (14) Good night (9435) Bad night (1168)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.

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  (201): just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this. http://tfl.nu/pmcq
  Replies (21) Good night (1364) Bad night (5743)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.

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  (316): This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school. http://tfl.nu/crw7
  Replies (21) Good night (990) Bad night (2200)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.

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  (773): my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka. http://tfl.nu/3a5u
  Replies (0) Good night (642) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun

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  (847): Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun http://tfl.nu/7pg6
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (595)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML

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  (780): If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML http://tfl.nu/m3i8
  Replies (8) Good night (1645) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.

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  (785): Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle. http://tfl.nu/joqk
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism

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  (330): can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism http://tfl.nu/db2b
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (354)
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  (818): View more from California

  I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.

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  (818): I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole. http://tfl.nu/w948
  Replies (1) Good night (405) Bad night (699)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex

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  (410): I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex http://tfl.nu/t4yi
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (265)

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