He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.