Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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