he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
