woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
