Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize