I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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