why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Life is so much better after having sex.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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