I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
