youre lurking in front of me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
