Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
