No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
