Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
