i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
