Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think my tv is drunk
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
