yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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