Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
