Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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