Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
