Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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