At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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