im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
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I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
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Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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