Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere

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(847): View more from Illinois

Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.

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(813): View more from Florida

she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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(613): View more from Ontario

Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(786): View more from Florida

HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?

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(778): View more from British Columbia

the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.

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(315): View more from New York

All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours

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