She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
