That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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