and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
