I hate your face
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
