I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
