Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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