yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
