Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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