i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
