The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
