im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
