I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
