I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
