Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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