I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
