I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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