just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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