I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
