Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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