did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
