My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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