where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I wish i was in the wii world.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
is it fun? or sober?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
