so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
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