it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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