Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
