hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
