Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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