how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
