Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
